I love you everyday shona..

Love is not something that happens by accident. It is something you choose to create each and every day of your life. I know this from my own relationship. I have made almost every mistake you can make in a relationship. I didn’t connect until after 38, and when I did, it was different than any other relationship I had ever experienced.So how did I learn to create love on purpose? I learned from my past, and made the changes necessary to have a successful relationship. Discover your patterns in relationship. You are the common denominator in all of your relationships. Looking at past relationships, what pattern can you discover? How is it blocking you from love?You are not broken. You learned how to receive love at a young age from people who were unable to meet your needs. You made assumptions that because your parents didn’t give you the love you desired that you were broken in some way. I call this as our Love Imprint. Our Love Imprint is driving our choices in love. Knowing pattern and the beliefs that support it will open up love that is your birthright.Release yourself from past negative emotions. Identify which of the six core negative emotions are driving your behavior and do the work to release them. The six core negative emotions are: fear, anger, sadness, hurt, shame, and guilt. Emotions are the rudder that is driving your relationship boat. Stop making choices to avoid feeling one or more of these emotions.Learn to communicate non-violently. Start by taking responsibility for your feelings. No one is making you feel anything. Other people’s actions may trigger negative emotions but the cause lies inside of you. Use “I” language when discussing problems in your relationship. “You” statements tend to feel blaming and shaming and put your partner on the defensive.Ask for what you want by inspiring your partner to want to deliver what you need. Let your partner know how good you will feel when they do something for you; you’ll get much better results than when you complain about how they aren’t behaving the way you like.Love yourself first. You can only receive as much love from another as you are willing to give to yourself. Accept all the parts of you, good, bad and ugly, and watch the love come flowing in. Know what you want and don’t settle for less. I am not talking about height, hair color, or income. Instead focus on the values you hold in relationship. What is important to you and why? If good communication is important to you, don’t get into a relationship with someone who can’t express their feelings and tell you what they want.Choose love daily. Only by choosing to love ourselves and our partner every day can we truly have lasting, fulfilling relationships.I love you Mekh.  Take care.

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