He was the one you met at a certain time when you were not too young anymore, but definitely not yet too old. He might not be the first guy to break your heart because you met a few jerks before him, but you know the kind of heartbreak he might give you is the one you wouldn’t know how to endure. He might not be your first kiss, but he was the first kiss you had that made you feel like words were better left unsaid because the feelings cannot be contained.
You stop for a moment and tell yourself “This is real, and this is actually what I want.” You feel silly because you’re young. You’re reckless, but you’re brave. You’d take all the risks to be with him. You’d stay with him even if it takes work, and that’s when you realize it’s getting real. It’s not just a High School puppy love that you consider as a phase. You grow together.
You’ve seen this guy change his look, his dreams, and even his friends. He has seen you too. You used to be the little girl, turned teenage girl with braces and glasses. He has seen your dorky, puberty look with oily skin and pimples, but he always told you that you were beautiful. And now you’re all grown up… both of you. That’s when the REAL part of love happens. It’s not a fairytale anymore because it is reality both of you are facing. You know the first parts of a relationship are over between you two.
It’s not just all about the giddy, newly infatuated feeling you get. Of course you know you love him, just in a different way now. Nights aren’t always filled with laughter until 3am because you talk about serious things such as being with him having children, getting a job, meeting new people, starting a new life and all that. You make plans ahead of time because for once you actually see a future with him.
He’s not Prince Charming who gives empty promises that are too good to be true. You two, hand-in-hand work to achieve the life and love both of you deserve. You’re definitely not 100% compatible because of your differences, but you know both of you are mature enough to be willing to work it out. As silly as it sounds, but you secretly smile and think at the back of your mind “He’s the one.” (Or at least you really want him to be, and you pray to whatever God you believe in that he feels the same way) He makes you feel safe. He gives you a feeling of home without needing walls and a roof.
You realize that it’s not a perfect relationship because there is no such thing, but you know that it always felt right between you two. He taught you that love endures. It’s a love old-fashioned enough to stay true, but modern enough to withstand all challenges and adapt to what is needed.
Your first real love is not like your first love because you know that your first love will not be your only love. But this guy… he’s different. And after all this time, you realize that you want your first real love to be your last.
P.S. You know it is real love because you never had to ask or question your feelings. You just know and feel at the same time.
I love you my Mekh