Dear Jaan , My Love, my mekhu,
Shona, love is as much as it is physical, love is mainly psychological – we find it hard to let go of some things. Especially when those things are people who were once incredibly important to us.
There are people in our lives who have had such a tremendous impact on us – the individuals who we have become – that giving up on them entirely would mean giving up on a part of ourselves.
It’s one thing to excommunicate your past lover, but changing the person that you have become isn’t possible.
Sure, you could continue to make further changes, fill the cracks, build a new foundation, create new cracks to cover up the old, but the scarring will always be there no matter what happens from this point forward.
When everything that you have become is thanks to this one person whom you had to part ways with, realistically letting that person go and forgetting about him or her isn’t going to happen.
Those cracks will always be there, and if they haven’t been filled perfectly by another, then your mind may very well figure out a way to have them filled by their original creator.
A great love experience puts anything that falls short to shame. Think of the best slice of pizza that you have ever had, or the best, plump and juicy peach that you’ve ever bitten into.
Now, tell me how disappointed you are every time that you take a bite of a different pizza or a different peach and it doesn’t live up to that memory?
People don’t live only in the moment. We live in the moment, future and present. Everything that we take part in, experience or consume is compared to everything similar that we’ve once experienced as well as to what we, at one point, hoped that we would experience.
It’s funny, but generally speaking, life is riddled with letdowns. Many of them small, such as in the example above. Others, however, are much larger letdowns.
When we start to date someone new, we start to pick them apart, comparing them to that one individual we deem to have been “the best we ever had.”
When we broke up with that person, we did so promising ourselves that we’d find better… so we try and find better. Anything that falls short simply won’t do.
A huge problem is the fact that our memories don’t always match up with the reality of the past – we often remember things more colorfully than they actually were. This makes falling for someone new difficult. Very few can live up to such unrealistic standards.
Sadly, we often don’t comprehend what it is that we’ve lost until we’ve lost it. Understanding how much you really love someone can take time. You may fall in love with someone without fully understanding why it is that you love him or her.
You may spend hours, months, years together without fully appreciating what it is that this person means to you.
like little children playing with electronics. They love their gadgets and are fascinated with trying to figure out how everything works.
They want to understand how each individual piece makes the entire trinket do whatever it is that it’s supposed to do.
Unfortunately, what each lever, cable and switch does isn’t always evident. Sometimes the only way to figure out how useful something is, is by removing it entirely and seeing what happens.
When you lose someone you once loved, you may very well come to realize that life without that person simply doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to. If this is the case, then you can’t blame yourself for wanting this person back – it’s only natural.
When you love someone so deeply that you can’t let go, the world has a way of bringing you back together. If love exists as a tangible substance, which many seem to believe, then it only seems logical that true love must prevail.
I can’t say that I understand exactly how this works, or whether it is only an illusion, but in my experience, – and in the experience of countless others – we often get exactly what is that we need.
It’s the things that we spend so much time focusing on, so much time thinking about and fanaticizing about, that so often come to fruition almost as if streaming from a force larger than ourselves.
Whether the hand of destiny is pushing us in the direction or whether we are almost unconsciously moving towards a goal without understanding that we are, such love has a way of coming back around.
When you love someone so deeply that this person affects your day-to-day decision-making, then it isn’t unthinkable that with each decision you are finding yourself one step closer to the arms of your soul mate, your true love.
Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe, when it comes to love, you need to have a bit of faith. With a bit of faith and love in your heart, miracles can happen.
Dear Mekh , while loving, be love – simply love. Then it is not your love or my love or anybody else’s – it is simply LOVE. When you are not there, when you are in the hands of the ultimate source, or current, when you are in love, it is not you who is in love. When the love has engulfed you, you have disappeared; you have just become a flowing energy. I simply loved you then and I love you now. It simply cannot change over period.
My dear Mekh, wish you a very happy valentines day. I miss you.