I just wanted you to love me

I wanted nothing more from you than to see love translated into actions.

It is not because I lack love to myself or because I needed it—it is solely because I chose you amongst seven billion people in the world.

And although I hoped you would love me all right, you loved me all wrong.

I hated it. I felt like a beggar on your doorstep asking for the right kind of love. Mostly, I hated myself for lingering in unfathomable situations with you. I hated myself for accepting to be loved in that particular manner.

Now, I no longer do. Although I am still trying to forgive myself for accepting that wrong kind of love, I am thankful that I received it.

Thank you for loving me all wrong.

You have made me realize that it is of great significance to be loved in every wrong way at least once in our lives. The wrong kind of love is the punch that we get and never forget. It leaves us with clear bruises that remind us of the pain every time we look in the mirror.

image

Although wrong love is painful, it is beneficial. It allows us to grow in an instant and grants us the power to stand on our own two feet.

I couldn’t be any more thankful to you than I am right now.

Thank you for treating me as if I don’t exist. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known the value of my own existence right now.

It is because I felt worthless that I now realize I am worthy.

Thanks to you, I have learned that we are the ones who give people the permission to diminish ourselves—I was the one who allowed you to suck out my self-confidence and my life.

Thank you for never listening to me because you made me realize that my voice is worth being heard—it was your unconscious attempt of shrinking my words into nothingness.

image

You have taught me when to leave and when to stay. It is because you have loved me all wrong that I now know we mustn’t accept staying in toxic relationships for the sake of love.

I love you Mekh.

Neilmekh

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s