Love makes world beautiful!!

We are all ordinary, but when love comes we all become extraordinary. Extraordinariness is nobody’s quality; it is the happening of love, the miracle of love, the magic of love that makes people extraordinary. When you love a woman you transform her into an extraordinary being; when a woman loves you she transforms you into an extraordinary being. Then you are the most beautiful man in the world who has ever been and who will ever be; you are incomparable. Love has that alchemy, it transforms. It makes ordinary pebbles precious diamonds. But the whole secret is in contentment.

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When you love you are contented, when you are happy you are contented, when you are silent you are contented. Then a small hut is as beautiful as a palace and poverty is richness.

I love you Mekh

Neilmekh

Mekh, Unbreak my love!!

Yesterday was Sunday and as I ran into a friend(Sushmita), I hadn’t seen her in awhile. As we did our quick five-minute catch-up, she asked me how my ex was doing. After I did my well rehearsed polite response, “Actually we aren’t together anymore, so I am not entirely sure,” she gave me the immediate look of sadness and sympathy that I always get. I’m well used to that look, I guess that’s what happens when the woman you thought you were going to partner breaks up with you, but after giving me “the look,” she told me that she knows I’ll find someone new and I will love her just as much, if not more. Her words, meant to make me feel better about being single at heart, really got me thinking.

I hope she is wrong. I hope I never find someone I love as much as Mekh .

I don’t say that because I am a cynic, and I don’t say that because I hope we get back together. I say that simply because the love I shared with her was too much for me. It was raw, it was passionate, it was all-encompassing, it was emotional, it was everything. She was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. I felt incomplete when I wasn’t around her, and when she was near it was like everything was right in the world again. She was my other bhalf, and what I considered the best part of myself. She made me crazy and emotional. It was like our entire time together was a roller coaster of missing her, loving her, hating her, and needing her.

And I pray to God I never ever feel that way again.

I hope my ex was the love of my life because I never want to feel that kind of love again. I had it for four years. It changed my life and it is something that I will cherish for the rest of forever. I found that kind of love matured and I loved every minute of being in it. Even when we were fighting and I hated her, I loved it. But I never want to feel it again. That kind of pain and hurt mixed in with such passionate love was too much for me. It was too much for my heart to handle and when she decided to leave me, I didn’t understand how the world would keep turning.

But it did keep turning, and one day the ache in my chest stopped hurting and all the broken little pieces of my heart and soul seemed to be put back together. That’s when I realized I don’t need that kind of love or that kind of life. It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love again. I can’t wait to fall in love again, but I hope and pray it is a very different kind of love.

I don’t want someone to be my other half, I want someone who makes me feel whole on my own. I don’t want to miss someone so much it hurts, I want to know that even when I am apart from her I can trust her and know that she is coming home to me.

I don’t want her to be my last thought when I go to bed at night because I want her to be beside me when I go to bed at night. I don’t want her to be the best part of me, I want her to encourage me and push me to be the best self I can be on my own. I want a partner. I want someone I can rely on 24 hours out of the day, seven days a week. I want a love that makes me smile and go to bed completely content with my life, not one that keeps me up at night.

I don’t want a woman who treats me like a prince and the most precious thing in the world, I want her to treat our daughter like that. I don’t want to be the love of her life because I want our family to be.

My ex taught me more about love and life than she will never know. After the break up my friends always told me that she would never find someone who loved her quite like I did.

They said it to make me feel better, but I hope the same is true for her too. We were matured but naive and loved being in love, but it was the wrong kind of love.

She after making love to me a 100 times could simply walk away cold blooded and I could understand only a woman could do such an act.

She she just took my soul away and made me directionless.

Alas, I hope it was a once in a lifetime kind of love for the both of us, and I hope one day we both find a better, more whole and consistent  kind of love.

A relationship should not be measured in months or years. It’s the calibre of the memories that matter. Their impact, their permanence, and the degree to which they change you. I’ve had relationships lasting years I can now scarcely recollect, and hours with others that feel like infinities.

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I love you Mekh .

Neilmekh

Then I will know love!!

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along . It is you that came into my sweet existence…smoldering heat surrounds me. Feeling your presence in the wake of the night envelopes my body leaving me beside myself.

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I feel unsure about how my feelings for you will may transform into a beautiful longing for love, I find my mind is quiet and still, knowing that just the way you have come into a time in my life needing your trusting kiss…I was safe and comforted. Your body is weak beneath me. .. my love for life and the thought that I could fall for you, could grow and behave in the softness of your arms. We are as one when we lay on the tides of strength For my body weeps for your touch I know you are more then you can ever imagine. Your eyes trace my body and I feel a sweet surrender leaving me into the magnitude of bliss. Your kiss and your touch caresses my thoughts, You are making me realize that It is possible to be more by helping me become a woman of strength. I think of the times when we could be more, My heart falls into the depth of oblivion as time will come when our life will explain the truth of devotion and then I will know love.

❤️I love you Mekh❤️Neilmekh ❤️

I am Happy to be with you!!

Participants:
————-
Neil, Mekhala

Messages:
———
Mekhala: I’m here
Mekhala: Sorry
Mekhala: Shaun
Mekhala: Was putting ridh to sleep
Neil: So
Mekhala: Had left the ph in drawing room
Neil: 🙂
Neil: R u happy
Mekhala: i’m very happy ig
Neil: Humm:)
Mekhala: To be with u..
Neil: :*
Mekhala: Your family is my family
Neil: I am also
Neil: Yes
Neil: It us
Neil: is
Mekhala: And i’m happy to be wid all
Neil: Yes I am too
Mekhala: :*
Mekhala: Tum kitna shor machaate ho baahar 🙂
Neil: Is it
Mekhala: Aur kya
Neil: How
Mekhala: 🙂
Mekhala: Supam se bachke
Mekhala: Rehna hai tumhe
Mekhala: Ig
Neil: humm
Neil: Ok..
Mekhala: He has raped bv..
Mekhala: U have seen it
Neil: 😀
Neil: He won’t here
Mekhala: He can do it to anybody
Mekhala: I am not joking. Bv is bleeding today
Mekhala: Itna boora haal karke gaya hai yeh
Neil: :*
Neil: I dint care
Mekhala: :s
Neil: Tum ho na bv ki savior
Mekhala: Be careful
Mekhala: Thats all
Neil: Ok I will
Mekhala: Hmm
Neil: B careful.
Mekhala: Kya?
Neil: What elae
Mekhala: Mujhe kyu bol rahe ho
Mekhala: Dont talk much
Neil: Ok
Neil: :*.
Mekhala: Shaunu mein so jau? I can barely keep my eyes open..:(
Neil: Ok love
Mekhala: Its the vodka i guess
Neil: Good night:)
Mekhala: I’m sure u r tired too
Neil: 😀
Neil: Me
Mekhala: U take rest..
Neil: Haha
Mekhala: 🙂 sleep well
Neil: U so ja
Mekhala: :* :* he man
Neil: I rowiil
Neil: :* muuuuuah
Mekhala: :* muuaaahh
Mekhala: Bfn dear..subah ping karungi
Mekhala: I love you
Neil: Will u tke care when nats is gone
Mekhala: Lots
Neil: Bfn love.
Mekhala: 🙂 ofcourse
Mekhala: I will take care even when she is around
Mekhala: Dont i?
Neil: Humm u do
Neil: I love u
Neil: So ja
Mekhala: :* hmm
Mekhala: Out :*
Mekhala: Gudnite dear
Neil: Good night mekh.
Neil: bfn:*

Cheers!!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Airtel

Dear Readers,

It happens all the time in heaven,
and some day it will begin to happen
again on earth –

that men and women who are married,
and men and men who are lovers,
and women and women who give each other
light,
often will get down on their knees
and while so tenderly holding their lover’s hand, with tears in their eyes,
will sincerely speak, saying,

My dear, how can I be more loving to you;
how can I be more kind?
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Neilmekh

The Big L love cannot be lost

Dear Mekh / friends ,

In my discomfort, my mind desperately tries to find an answer to the equation that my heart tells me is impossible.

Where did I go so wrong?

How could I have done better?

Was I that horrible?

What details am I missing?

I think and think and think, but never fall upon an answer that brings me any peace.

In the worst of moments, my ego grabs ahold of the darkest explanation of all, “Because the problem is you, Mekh. Didn’t you know that you were so awful?” No one should have to stay in that territory too long. It’s just too damn dark.

Luckily, the larger part of me knows that this isn’t true. It’s just not.

Not about me. Not about you. Not about any of us. None of us is so awful that we are undeserving of love.

In my mind, this particular scenario isn’t about I said/she said, or who’s right and wrong. Those are just stupid details that, when you get down to it, don’t mean a thing.

I’m not saying that as people, we should discount the ways we hurt one another, or be in denial about how our actions impact our relationships. For a relationship to be functional, both people have to take responsibility for how they affect one other. It won’t work any other way.

But I also believe that at a point, none of that really matters. It just doesn’t. All that matters is the love.

That’s it. Just the love.

My life is centered around learning how to evolve as a human being; I believe that relationships are the catalysts for our growth. While I don’t know why this particular scenario is happening the way that it is, but I do know that it’s happening, and that means there’s a lesson in there for me.

The lesson is always about love.

How can I continue to love, even though I feel so hurt?

How can I continue to love, even though I feel so angry?

How do I set boundaries that are appropriate and self-loving?

How do I feel my feelings, without being overtaken by them?

How do I continue to believe in love, even though it’s hard to feel it in this moment when you are gone and took my soul away from me ?

The answers to these questions are the edges of growth that I’m pushing as we speak. And let me tell you, I am growing.

The unfortunate thing about growth is that it rarely happens unless you’re really compelled to do it. What I mean is, unless s#*t hits the fan, you’ll continue to sit pretty. But as soon as things get so bad that you can’t ignore them anymore, you suddenly have no other choice but to dig deep and rise to the occasion. In this way, crisis becomes both a blessing and a curse.

When it comes to relationships, here’s what I know for certain: They’re complex. We are complex. Love has a shadow side, and for anyone who has loved deeply, you know that it isn’t pretty.

But I also know this: When we’re talking about real love — the love we feel for the people we care about the most, the big L love, the unconditional kind — it can’t be destroyed.

Oh yes, it’s true that it may not be felt in a particular moment. It may be covered up, or buried, or distant, or unreachable.

But it never, ever dies.

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You will receive love only to your ability to be vulnerable enough to let it in.

Love between two people is a fearless state of being where who you are and who they are is given and received without fear of engulfment or abandon.

The underlying belief of this state is complete trust regardless of outcome.

The love I have for my Mekh is that kind of love. And I know, deep down, that she feels that type of love for me, too. My heart tells me it’s true. It is in this truth that I find peace.

I’ve been heartbroken more than once, and I can guarantee that it will happen again. If I allow myself to fall madly in love (with lovers, family, and life), part of the package is feeling love fall apart. This is the human condition! The key is knowing that unconditional love can weather any storm.

Friends, if you’ve loved and lost, I encourage you to keep reaching deeper into yourself. Rise through the loss. Recognize the love within you is unstoppable; know that it will never go away. It’s the force that withstands all.

I love you My Dear Mekh..can any one take me away from you?

Neilmekh

Intimacy..

Everybody is afraid of intimacy. It is another thing whether you are aware of it or not. Intimacy means exposing yourself before a stranger. We are all strangers — nobody knows anybody. We are even strangers to ourselves, because we don’t know who we are.

Intimacy brings you close to a stranger. You have to drop all your defenses; only then, intimacy is possible. And the fear is that if you drop all your defenses, all your masks, who knows what the stranger is going to do with you?

We are all hiding a thousand and one things — not only from others but from ourselves — because we have been brought up by a sick humanity with all kinds of repressions, inhibitions, taboos. And the fear is that with somebody who is a stranger — and it does not matter, you may have lived with the person for thirty years, forty years; the strangeness never disappears — it feels safer to keep a little defense, a little distance, because somebody can take advantage of your weaknesses, of your frailties, of your vulnerability.

Everybody is afraid of intimacy.
The problem becomes more complicated because everybody wants intimacy. Everybody wants intimacy because otherwise you are alone in this universe — without a friend, without a lover, without anybody you can trust, without anybody to whom you can open all your wounds. And the wounds cannot heal unless they are open. The more you hide them, the more dangerous they become. They can become cancerous.

Intimacy is an essential need on the one hand, so everybody longs for it. But he wants the other person to be intimate, so that the other person drops his defenses, becomes vulnerable, opens all his wounds, drops all his masks and false personality, stands naked as he is. And on the other hand, everybody is afraid of intimacy — with the other person you want to be intimate with, you are not dropping your defenses.

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This is one of the conflicts between friends, between lovers: nobody wants to drop his defenses and nobody wants to come in utter nudity and sincerity, open — and both need intimacy.

Unless you drop all your repressions, inhibitions — which are the gifts of your religions, your cultures, your societies, your parents, your education — you will never be able to be intimate with someone.

And you will have to take the initiative.

But if you don’t have any repressions, any inhibitions, you don’t have any wounds either. If you have lived a simple, natural life, there will be no fear of intimacy, but tremendous joy — of two flames coming so close that they become almost one flame. And the meeting is tremendously gratifying, satisfying, fulfilling. But before you can attempt intimacy, you have to clean your house completely.

Only a man of meditation can allow intimacy to happen. He has nothing to hide. All that was making him afraid that somebody may know, he himself has dropped. He has only a silence and a loving heart.

You have to accept yourself in your totality — if you cannot accept yourself in your totality, how can you expect somebody else to accept you? And you have been condemned by everybody, and you have learned only one thing: self-condemnation. You are filled with ugly repressions which have become perversions.

You can say everything that you feel authentically and sincerely. And if you are ready to be intimate, you will encourage the other person also to be intimate. Your openness will help the other person also to be open to you. Your unpretentious simplicity will allow the other also to enjoy simplicity, innocence, trust, love, openness.

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You are encaged with stupid concepts, and the fear is, if you become very intimate with somebody, he will become aware of it.

But we are fragile beings — the most fragile in the whole existence. The human child is the most fragile child of all the animals. The children of other animals can survive without the mother, without the father, without a family. But the human child will die immediately. So this frailty is not something to be condemned — it is the highest expression of consciousness.
Intimacy simply means that the doors of the heart are open for you, you are welcome to come in and be a guest. But that is possible only if you have a heart which is not stinking with repressed sexuality, which is not boiling with all kinds of perversions, which is natural — as natural as trees, as innocent as children. Then there is no fear of intimacy.

That’s what I am trying to do: to help you unburden your unconscious, unburden your mind, to become ordinary. There is nothing more beautiful than to be just simple and ordinary.

Then you can have as many intimate friends, as many intimate relationships as possible, because you are not afraid of anything. You become an open book — anybody can read. There is nothing to hide.You have so many faces. Inside, you think one thing; outside, you express something else.

You are not one, organic whole.

Relax and destroy the split that society has created in you. Say only that which you mean.

Act according to your own spontaneity, never bothering about consequences. It is a small life and it should not be spoiled in thinking about consequences here and hereafter.

One should live totally, intensely, joyously and just like an open book, available for anybody to read it.By intimacy, by love, by opening yourself to many people, you become richer. And if you can live in deep love, in deep friendship, in deep intimacy, with many people, you have lived rightly, and wherever you happen to be… you have learned the art; you will be living there, too, happily.

If you are simple, loving, open, intimate, you create a paradise around you. If you are closed, constantly on the defensive, always worried that somebody may come to know your thoughts, your dreams, your perversions — you are living in hell.

Hell is within you and so is paradise.
You will be ready, without any fear but with great joy, to be intimate. And without intimacy, you are alone here amongst strangers. With intimacy you are surrounded by friends, by people who love you. Intimacy is a great experience. One should not miss it.

But before you can become unafraid of intimacy, you have to be totally clean of all the garbage that religions have been pouring into you, all the crap that for centuries has been handed over to you. Be finished with it all, and live a life of peace, silence, joy, song and dance. And you will transform… wherever you are, the place will become paradise.

Neilmekh